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[Redpyramidhead]

The Lost Goddess

by

Redpyramidhead

(rough draft)

(inspired by the book Jesus and the Lost Goddess)


why couldn't we know jesus' lover
an eastern pagan of true desire
a goddess that explained the
sweetness
talent in her uniqueness
cuteness
we yearn for in a woman's eyes



her flesh is as beautiful as her dark eyes
her skin no matter what shade of love
his caress of her caress the long sought dove
her flesh is as sweeeet as her dark eyes
eyes her eyes that reflect the eastern sky
eyes her eyes that reflect the arabian night
the arabian nights
in the desert not barren
not alone but comforted they are by the harem
the spirits that share the wind with them
in a vortex
in vortices
to cross oceans of mud
and sail the bloodened seas
which can be seen clearlly thru their eyes and what they shared
thru their eyes and what they shared

her sex as beautiful as her dark eyes
oh how they reflect the arabian night
stars abound and bathed in twilight
twinkle
the arabian nights
in a desert not barren
not alone but comforted by the last pure harem
that understood
in vortices
to cross the oceans of mud
and sail the bloodened seas
which thru their eyes and what they shared could be seen clearly
thru her eyes could be seen clearly


copyright Mark Skinner 2003

[Hylas]

Sounds like a mature poem, and I don't know if many around here can properly understand it, me included (not that this is a fault though). I haven't read the book that inspired you, so I don't know what is the role of the inspiration in writing this. And this probably causes me to lack some useful info to access other less evident meanings.

I like the atmosphere of it, very mysterious and filled with obscure mysticism. The figure of the goddess is similar to the one of a pagan deity, haunting and very physical, and also powerful and sensual. It could be metaphor for something else, which I still have to understand, but again, I don't know what the book that inspired you is about, so I cannot say.

[Pu the Owl]

The description of the goddess is a mix of classical Salome-like sacred yet sensually corrupted feminine icon and one of those paintings in Moreau (and similar painters) style, using myths and similar references as rather disturbing metaphors.

[Redpyramidhead]

Hint: it's not supposed to be disturbing in a bad way so much as it's supposed to be romantic.

_RED_ stuff

[Pu the Owl]

What do you mean by "romantic"? Romantic as the romanticism artistic movement or romantic meaning sentimental? Because most of the feminine images of romantic literature were indeed sort of dark and disturbing, not always in a negative way though.

*shuts up*

[Redpyramidhead]

Awww...don't shut up. Speak! Now that I think of it I kind of meant both by romantic and I didn't mean to say dark imagery was negative necassarily...which you'd probably have guessed I have all kinds of uses for dark imagery both negative and very positive in my poems/lyrics. I enjoy your comments much so don't shut up!

_RED_ stuff

[Rei]

Apart from the descriptions, which are somewhat effective (even if, sorry don't be offended, I find a word like "cuteness" a bit out of place compared to the other used for describing this female "entity"), I don't get very well the meaning of it. Is it really about metaphors or it it simply a poem based on dark and sensual images?

BTW, since anybody's asking that, or at least so it seems, what's the book that inspired you about?

[Redpyramidhead]

I can see why the word "cuteness" may seem out of place but that is because most people assume it to be a very superficial word with superficial meaning most of the time. In this case it is supposed to have much deeper meaning and that meaning is something I often think about as a quality I look for in a woman, but it's not necassarily the meaning you think. Perhaps if you understood it coming from the male perspective in his mind when he might be falling in love with somebody. I did not describe this "cuteness" in the poem because I wanted to get my other points down first before forgetting them. Then I sort of forgot about elaborating on that part.

a goddess that explained the
sweetness
talent in her uniqueness
cuteness
we yearn for in a woman's eyes

Yes the word seems out of place ther to somebody who doesn't know the purposes and meanings for which I used it for. Perhaps, a synonim might exist for it that sounds better and wouldn't alienate the female audience (that was the last thing I intended which would be obvious if I were to explain to you the full meaning of the poem.) Maybe somebody could help with a better word thats a synonim?

As for the other thing you mentioned it's supposed to be based on both metaphors AND dark and sensual images.

Actually this will help start to answer your question about the book, too. A large part of the book is about a myth describing how Jesus had a Lover and how this myth was suppressed with brute force by the Roman Catholic church over the course of 16 centuries and was pretty much written out of the new testament.
The point is, that the book is trying to make, is that there was knowledge to be gained by this myth that is supposed to help explain how to build a strong relationship between a man and a woman and also this Lover of jesus in the story was known as a Goddess who's purpose was also to give a woman guidance in a way a Jesus myth without a woman in it to relate to couldn't. I've always believed in finding a way to help fellow human beings in these areas and in my heart I knew it was supposed to be done, but so much is thrown at you in life to make you doubt it.

I, myself, am not a follower of any one religion, but instead I like to pick up ideas of spirituality from different places. Personally, before this book, i had so many doubts about christianity. I still do, but it is an interesting new way of looking at it that is comforting. What's best about it is how it describes religion as guidelines to help you out, not a set of rules.

So that conclude my rant about that book. Actually, I'm only about 20 pages into it

Now that I look back, the poem is a little more loosely inspired by the book than I originally thought. I just wanted to make sure I gave credit where it was do.



_RED_ stuff

[Rei]

Alienating the female audience? Nah, I don't think so. It's just, as I said, that the word "cute" or "cuteness" are nowadays often associated with other tipology of imagery, and I thought for this reason it was misplaced, but maybe it was only me. I know many words are misused or change meaning depending on the context you use them, it's just that routine makes a word appear or sound "wrong" if used outside its usual context. But it's ok, if you say you picked it for precise reasons, I'm not the one who will ask you to change it, lol

[Black Heart]

Am I the only one who doesn't get the metaphors in this poem?

Anyway, it seems you completely changed the purpose of the book, you probably got only the initial idea from it, because from what you said, it seems very different from its source, and if you didn't tell us what the book was about, well... we could end thinking this was more centered on the book than it actually is.

[Redpyramidhead]

Originally posted by Black Heart

Am I the only one who doesn't get the metaphors in this poem?

Anyway, it seems you completely changed the purpose of the book, you probably got only the initial idea from it, because from what you said, it seems very different from its source, and if you didn't tell us what the book was about, well... we could end thinking this was more centered on the book than it actually is.

No, I did not completely change the purpose of the book and that's not even the point. The point is I found some strong spiritual value in it's message and continue to as I read more and the message seems to agree in many ways about some things I have been saying all along or needed some clarifying on. Whatever...the point is I was thinking of my difficulty with relationships when I wrote it and it represents my search and longing for someone and being able to understand how to make it work and it also means so much more. There is actually helpful stuff in there people can identify with. The metaphors are not things I wish to give away. That is the right of the artist.

I suggest you learn to offer constructive criticism in a better way. It seems to me that it's quite possible that you don't have an open mind for this sort of thing.

Did anybody else just enjoy this poem for what it was??
Did anybody else find it heartening or full of soul or anything?

Maybe I'm just dillusional...

_RED_ stuff

[Pu the Owl]

Originally posted by Redpyramidhead
I suggest you learn to offer constructive criticism in a better way. It seems to me that it's quite possible that you don't have an open mind for this sort of thing.

This is a bit harsh... after all, people here were only asking for further explanations, what's wrong with that? Do you prefer when nobody is commenting to your posts? Remember this is not a poetry site, and it's obvious people can also post comments you can find not so clever or "constructive". Accusing someone of not being open minded for this reason seems a bit exaggerated to me... But who knows? Maybe I'd do the same thing, being you.

[Black Heart]

Wow, man! I wasn't guessing my comment sounded so absoutely dumb! Be sure I won't comment anymore in the future, so that I won't ruin your artistic consciousness

BTW, you call yourself an artist and say people are not open minded enough for your works, but doing so you're not demonstrating much open mindness either.

Let me post for the last time another pearl of my anti-constructive criticism: I didn't like this poem very much, it's completely true, I prefer some of the other things you have posted in the past. They sound more convincing and genuine, while this one doesn't communicate great spiritualism to the reader (me). It seems more like a notion of spiritualism, an attitude of fascination towards stereotyped spiritual atmospheres, and for this reason I find it quite impersonal and cold, also with all the sensually redundant imagery. Take it as new evidence of my ignorance if you like.

[Redpyramidhead]

Let's get something straight here. I have been very grateful for the comments i recieved on this poem up until black heart's comment. I have answered questions regarding what the book was about and went beyond that even to describe how it related to my feelings about writing this poem. I was happy to do that because I like you guys a lot. PS2Fantasy is my home away from hom eon the internet.

Then black heart comes along and atleast to me seems to make comments that suggested that he didn't really pay much attention to the poem which is really what posting in this forum is about, but instead spent more time searching for fault in my interpretation of a book he has never read. I could have been wrong about that and overreacted in hindsight, I don't know, but what he says here:

Let me post for the last time another pearl of my anti-constructive criticism: I didn't like this poem very much, it's completely true, I prefer some of the other things you have posted in the past. They sound more convincing and genuine, while this one doesn't communicate great spiritualism to the reader (me). It seems more like a notion of spiritualism, an attitude of fascination towards stereotyped spiritual atmospheres, and for this reason I find it quite impersonal and cold, also with all the sensually redundant imagery. Take it as new evidence of my ignorance if you like.

is such an obviously out right attempt to anger and insult my creative process, possibly even to undermine it, it is totally uncalled for. I don't think what I said warrents any of that. Alas, maybe what he says is true, though. I hope he feels better now. I really do.


_RED_ stuff