Blah

Redpyramidhead · Mar 16th, 2003, 04:08 AM

Seasons
by
Redpyramidhead

Sicken me in the presence of a frail goat
upon an autumn crossing
Thickened thinned blood the sentence of surreal choke
upon an autumn crossing
And of its wind beautifully intoxicating
And tragically the leaves wicked and cursed
Colorfully evil and in the essence of this season

Beyond, beyond, the blood, the lies, the tears, the leaves,
could always choke on one
Beyond sickened, the love 'twas 'live, the tears, the leaves,
could always choke on one
And tragic are the leaves...
And tragically the leaves...

To glare into Death's eyes with as much fury as one could manage,
but only to sink back into one's self
And to have not the heart to express emotions of anger into the face of Death,
Her softness too powerful, as is the look of care in her eyes
Blame lay not with her...
Blame lay not with her...

Death, who is also Life

_RED_ stuff

Gadzoox · Mar 17th, 2003, 10:29 PM

Wow, nice work! I love that last line; it adds sort of a twist and intreagues nicely.

Rei · Mar 23rd, 2003, 05:23 AM

Nice expression of resigned anger, melancholy and decay. I also, like Gadzoox, like the last line. But I also like the general feeling of it.

Why did you put "Blah" as the thread's title though?

neerajamania4life · Mar 27th, 2003, 02:49 PM

Neat work! Its not my style though but it's still good! Are you a song writer?

Redpyramidhead · Mar 29th, 2003, 11:08 PM

Yes, very intuitive, nee4life, I write songs and lyrics to those songs. If you look closely, you can sorta tell based on the structure of lines. The chorus is this part

Quote:

Beyond, beyond, the blood, the lies, the tears, the leaves,
could always choke on one
Beyond sickened, the love 'twas 'live, the tears, the leaves,
could always choke on one
And tragic are the leaves...
And tragically the leaves...

It's all still pretty preliminary, though, as I will obviously have to do some syllable re-adjustment when I put it to the music more (it's a song in progress. I've had it on the backburner for a while.)

Actually, I'm not sure why I entitled this thread BLah...I think it was the mood I was in at the time...heh.

Thanks guyz for the feedback

_RED_ stuff

Mar 16th, 2003, 04:08 AM	#1
Redpyramidhead pazparacolombia Joined: Sep 2002 Location: Restless dreams... Age: 43 Posts: 2,002	Blah Seasons by Redpyramidhead Sicken me in the presence of a frail goat upon an autumn crossing Thickened thinned blood the sentence of surreal choke upon an autumn crossing And of its wind beautifully intoxicating And tragically the leaves wicked and cursed Colorfully evil and in the essence of this season Beyond, beyond, the blood, the lies, the tears, the leaves, could always choke on one Beyond sickened, the love 'twas 'live, the tears, the leaves, could always choke on one And tragic are the leaves... And tragically the leaves... To glare into Death's eyes with as much fury as one could manage, but only to sink back into one's self And to have not the heart to express emotions of anger into the face of Death, Her softness too powerful, as is the look of care in her eyes Blame lay not with her... Blame lay not with her... Death, who is also Life _RED_ stuff __________________ "..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..."

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Messages:

	PsFantasy.com Forums » General Forums » Creativity Forum
Blah

Mar 17th, 2003, 10:29 PM	#2
Gadzoox goon squad Joined: Jun 2002 Location: Canada Age: 39 Posts: 1,673	Wow, nice work! I love that last line; it adds sort of a twist and intreagues nicely.

Mar 23rd, 2003, 05:23 AM	#3
Rei EVA 00 Pilot Joined: Jan 2002 Location: NERV Age: 41 Posts: 2,239	Nice expression of resigned anger, melancholy and decay. I also, like Gadzoox, like the last line. But I also like the general feeling of it. Why did you put "Blah" as the thread's title though?

Mar 27th, 2003, 02:49 PM	#4
neerajamania4life Registered User Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 87	Neat work! Its not my style though but it's still good! Are you a song writer?


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