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[Hylas]

Ok, this time I have a problem regarding one of my ex-friends, and I'd like to receive some suggestions from you.

This guy was one of my best friends till last year, then something happened and I don't know what exactly (I even tried to ask but he never replied) and he started hating me. He tries to insult me or to talk behind my back with every friend we have in common, saying I'm a bad person and it's better for them to leave me alone. Nobody trusts him, so he ended being the real loner.
He also ruined some stuff he took on loan when we were friends and send them back to me all broken or ruined just to make me angry. Now, yesterday I received a letter from him, filled with all the horrible things he could write down to humiliate my person, saying I've never been his friend and he only lied to me because he wanted something from me but I didn't understand what so he has no more reason to lie and say he's my firend. He didn't explain anything about this matter and about what he really wanted and why all of a sudden he decided he hates me. But I can't go on like this, knowing this person hates me so much..

What should I do, knowing I won't get an explanation from him?

[kupoartist]

Originally posted by Hylas
What should I do, knowing I won't get an explanation from him?

are you absolutely sure that you have no idea or way of knowing why it is you fell out? If you don't actually know what it is you've done, he's being very very out of line, and I know i'd have to confront him about why...

In the end you've mostly got to decide whether he is worth worrying about... as i understand it, the sleeze he has attempted has only made him more reclussed and unpopular... you actually seem concerned about him, even though he is against you? if you do need to confront him, perhaps you should do so by letter, as he has done? (he may not feel comfortable about talking about whatever it is verbally... "words don't come easy" or somthing)

ermmm... I'm kind of all over the place here... guess I'm no good at advice, so don't take my opinion as your own or anything, just consider it as a perspective or somthing ^_^

[Rohamgh]

I, as a very experienced man, would suggest one of two things:


A) contact him by writing as artist said above me, in da letter explain that you dont know why he's angry, and that theres no point being angry at someone if they dont know why. DONT COME OFF AS DESPERATE or as if you're begging...be like: "hey, I dont give a sh*t about you, but i'd still like to know why da fk you've been actin like a stupid fk all this time...if you're that gay and dont want to tell me, then fine, be like that, and stay the fk outta my way" even if this doesn't gettim to talk to you, it'll install some respect at least.

B) just geton wid yo' life, the guy's prolly just a **** doing this for his own personal amusement...ignore him, go have your fun find other friends...lifes too short to dwell on random people



Baracuda,

I'm out.

[Rei]

I'd say to ignore him: he'll start being tired of it when he sees you don't care about what he does.

[REChick14]

I totally agree with Rohamgh & the _ artist. This exactly happened to me. We were chatting online then all of a sudden he tells me to shut up & calls me a B****. I was really taken by surprise. I didn't know how to react. Plus he was talkin behind my back. I tried to talk to him at school but he would just run away. I knew that wouldn't help. So I kept emailing him asking why he went off on me. Then he finally tells me he was mad because he was "downloading" something on the computer and I was "talking" to him and thats why he was mad. After I read that I was the person that was mad at him. I couldn't believe it. He got mad at a stupid thing. After that I havent bothered with him in case he gets mad because im "talking" to him. So Hylas I give you this, write to him and see what happens. If he was mad at you because of something stupid then dont even bother with him. Good Luck!

[jjmoohead]

I kinda have the same problem as you but mine deals with an ex girlfriend who just yesterday decides to message me and tell me how much she is in love with her new boyfriend and how she is finally happy in her life. I told her i was happy for her and that its great that she found someone that was actually compatible with her. Once she realized that it didnt bother me she started asking me stupid questions about life and when I gave my answer she would jump at me and say I was being nieve. She was basically trying to get under my skin. I started to get mad at the fact that she said i judged the world when here she was judging me. Then I just said, why are you talking to me? I hate you, your ugly and your life is a dead end waiting to run into a wall. Have fun with you drug addicted love toy and stay out of my life. The entire time I was like man this feels good, and the greatest part is we finnished what was started a long time ago.

So with the story out of the way my suggestion is not to move on cause thats the hardest thing to do and not worth the time. Try and find out what crawled up his ass by just confronting him, if he says nothing then just say, fine, your going nowhere in life, so let go of me cause Im not going down with you.

Wow, im never like this, stupid people make me angry (meaning my ex and your friend)

[IcyMourdor]

Well, advice is kind of hard to give only knowing one side of the story. I'd say just get over it and move on.

The only thing I can think of that might have any relation with this is that he liked you a little too much. I have known a guy who was going out with my current gf. He liked her way, WAY too much. Just all of a sudden, he snapped. She realized this and broke up with him. He began to make death threats and such to her. Well, he got sent down to a group home and now its all over.

All you can really do is just forget about him. It was his decision to stop liking you. He has to pay the consequences of making this decision.

Good luck to you.

[Jolie]

I think you should ask him anyways, again and again, because it's not fair that someone is so cruel with you without giving a decent explanation. I suggest you to call him on the phone, or, as the others suggested, to write him back, asking what's wrong with him. If he avoids to reply once again, he doesn't deserve your attention. So let him act like an idiot and don't mind him anymore.

[Frozen]

Originally posted by Mourdor
Well, advice is kind of hard to give only knowing one side of the story.

Are you sure you gave him absolutely no reason, at all, so he began to act like that?

Another question, maybe he began to like you way too much as Mourdor said, maybe even fell in love, but having got no "response" or just indifference, became like that?

Right here:

...saying I've never been his friend and he only lied to me because he wanted something from me but I didn't understand what so he has no more reason to lie and say he's my firend.

Maybe he wanted you (no joke)

In your case I would still try to find out why his awful change of attitude, and bring a solution if possible, even keep being friends if there's a way for that to happen. But don't waste your energies in such a loser. I discard anyone who begins talking shit about me. But don't degrade yourself to his level either. I'd rather ignore him than beginning to insult him and say he's shit and stuff.

I hope this turns out for the best.

[Black Heart]

Maybe he's jealous or envious for something and you didn't notice. Probably this is clear for him, but not for you.
Envy really makes people go mad, and it's not your fault most of the time.
I suggest to not take his actions too much seriously, because he's not mature enough to deserve your friendship.

[Hylas]

Thanks for all the suggestions...

Anyway, I've talked to the guy's best friend (the one he considers to be his best friend at the present moment...), because I've tried to talk to him thru phone and thru mail, but he clearly said he's not going to talk to me. The friend btw told me it's a private matter, so I have no clues, but still I don't think I'm guilty. I've been told I'm not and it's better for me to not ask him, 'cause he's probably not going to tell me. But I'm so confused now OMG

[Rei]

You can't tell what's the prob here, at least that's what you said... Hope it's nothing serious !

[Hylas]

I don't know if it should be called serious, I don't think so! I only think it's a "private" matter. You know what I mean..

[Hylas]

If it's about asking for a suggestion, knowing there are some people here that seem to be able to give advice, why not? Adding to this, I was looking for someone who wasn't in my group of firends, because they could have some "prejudices" regarding this question. It's always good to hear ideas from different sources, adding to that, in this place I can read also suggestions from people of various ages, so there's more variety