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Jan 6th, 2005, 11:41 PM | #1 |
Cursed
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: AWOL!
Age: 39
Posts: 3,841
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Male vs Female
Funny Shit
Male vs. Female NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw a $20,even thought it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale. BATHROOMS A man has 5 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,a bar of soap and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE (Too true to be considered humorous) A woman marries a man expecting he will change,but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed (or so they think) Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING -- Ah children A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret, fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY... Any married man should forget his mistakes.There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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Jan 7th, 2005, 03:34 AM | #2 |
Cream Puff
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Stevens Point, Wisconsin
Age: 38
Posts: 2,713
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Sad to say, most of those are right.
Go MALES!!
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You will walk in fire, earth, water, and air, through temptation, and at last into despair and desolation. |
Jan 7th, 2005, 07:22 AM | #3 |
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,265
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Jan 7th, 2005, 12:25 PM | #4 |
Metalik0r
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Hellsing Castle
Age: 39
Posts: 411
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u really like to say "i win" or "women win" often dont ya kaenE?!
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"Its a good night... On nights like these, I crave for blood." |
Jan 7th, 2005, 02:32 PM | #5 |
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Mass.
Age: 36
Posts: 704
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These are pretty true and funny. ^_^
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Former Captain of the 12th Division
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Jan 7th, 2005, 04:15 PM | #6 | |
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Detroit
Age: 39
Posts: 871
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Quote:
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Jan 7th, 2005, 05:02 PM | #7 | ||
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,265
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Quote:
Quote:
Damn right is the truth... |
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Jan 7th, 2005, 05:45 PM | #8 |
The One & Only
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Being Reborn
Age: 41
Posts: 2,132
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Very Funny
And as a member of the female sex I have to admit they are slightly true... not for me of course! Piggle x x x x
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Jan 7th, 2005, 07:55 PM | #9 |
Registered User
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 19
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Some of those comments I do have to agree with also.
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Jan 9th, 2005, 05:12 PM | #10 |
Metalik0r
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Hellsing Castle
Age: 39
Posts: 411
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pff, i also agree that like half of them are true, but there are many "not very true" ones too! and why do u have always to put it out as wins or losses? i dont see that as a loss. im very much proud of being a man (thank u god)! LOL even if u say u won, thats a win for me too! GO MEN! heh (dedicated to kaenE )
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"Its a good night... On nights like these, I crave for blood." |
Jan 14th, 2005, 07:34 PM | #11 | |
pazparacolombia
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Restless dreams...
Age: 43
Posts: 2,002
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Quote:
_RED_ stuff
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"..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..." |
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Jan 15th, 2005, 07:27 AM | #12 |
Metalik0r
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Hellsing Castle
Age: 39
Posts: 411
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LOLOL!!! this post was the funniest since i got in here! congrats Red! Kaena will have a good laugh when she sees this too
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"Its a good night... On nights like these, I crave for blood." |
Jan 15th, 2005, 07:56 AM | #13 |
pazparacolombia
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Restless dreams...
Age: 43
Posts: 2,002
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*bows*
_RED_ stuff
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"..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..." |
Jan 16th, 2005, 02:26 PM | #14 | ||
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,265
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Quote:
Oh thank you, thank you, thank you...i thought no one would rescue me from this maniac, lol *hugs you* Quote:
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Jan 16th, 2005, 02:40 PM | #15 |
Metalik0r
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Hellsing Castle
Age: 39
Posts: 411
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aww.......im always the bad guy!! *sniffles* no fair
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"Its a good night... On nights like these, I crave for blood." |
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