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Old Jan 6th, 2005, 11:41 PM   #1
Uchiha Sasuke
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Male vs Female

Funny Shit

Male vs. Female



NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw a $20,even thought it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has 5 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,a bar of soap and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE (Too true to be considered humorous)

A woman marries a man expecting he will change,but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed (or so they think)
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING -- Ah children

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret, fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...

Any married man should forget his mistakes.There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.
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Old Jan 7th, 2005, 03:34 AM   #2
IcyMourdor
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Sad to say, most of those are right.

Go MALES!!
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Old Jan 7th, 2005, 07:22 AM   #3
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This is all i'll say...
us women always win...

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Old Jan 7th, 2005, 12:25 PM   #4
LrdAlucard
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u really like to say "i win" or "women win" often dont ya kaenE?!
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Old Jan 7th, 2005, 02:32 PM   #5
Urahara Kisuke
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These are pretty true and funny. ^_^
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Old Jan 7th, 2005, 04:15 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LrdAlucard
u really like to say "i win" or "women win" often dont ya kaenE?!
LoL, but it's the truth though
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Old Jan 7th, 2005, 05:02 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LrdAlucard

u really like to say "i win" or "women win" often dont ya kaenE?!
Yes i do...because i always win...one way or the other


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryu
LoL, but it's the truth though

Damn right is the truth...
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Old Jan 7th, 2005, 05:45 PM   #8
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Very Funny
And as a member of the female sex I have to admit they are slightly true... not for me of course!

Piggle
x x x x
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Old Jan 7th, 2005, 07:55 PM   #9
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Some of those comments I do have to agree with also.
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Old Jan 9th, 2005, 05:12 PM   #10
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pff, i also agree that like half of them are true, but there are many "not very true" ones too! and why do u have always to put it out as wins or losses? i dont see that as a loss. im very much proud of being a man (thank u god)! LOL even if u say u won, thats a win for me too! GO MEN! heh (dedicated to kaenE )
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Old Jan 14th, 2005, 07:34 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LrdAlucard
pff, i also agree that like half of them are true, but there are many "not very true" ones too! and why do u have always to put it out as wins or losses? i dont see that as a loss. im very much proud of being a man (thank u god)! LOL even if u say u won, thats a win for me too! GO MEN! heh (dedicated to kaenE )
Stop hitting on kaena... yes it is that obvious

_RED_ stuff
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Old Jan 15th, 2005, 07:27 AM   #12
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LOLOL!!! this post was the funniest since i got in here! congrats Red! Kaena will have a good laugh when she sees this too
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Old Jan 15th, 2005, 07:56 AM   #13
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*bows*

_RED_ stuff
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Old Jan 16th, 2005, 02:26 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redpyramidhead
Stop hitting on kaena... yes it is that obvious

_RED_ stuff

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you...i thought no one would rescue me from this maniac, lol *hugs you*


Quote:
Originally Posted by LrdAlucard
LOLOL!!! this post was the funniest since i got in here! congrats Red! Kaena will have a good laugh when she sees this too
Did you hear him?! Leave me alone!!
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Old Jan 16th, 2005, 02:40 PM   #15
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aww.......im always the bad guy!! *sniffles* no fair
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