»

[tempted]

Being a teenager it's like flying without wings
I'ts like crying without tears
Speaking without words
Feeling old without pain
I'ts like dying before you were born....

[Hylas]

I remember than being a teenager for most people is crap. They kept on crying real tears, and speaking their minds out to let us know - the stupid because not very troubled teenagers - we were traitors.

I'm not sure I got the actual feeling of your brief poem eli: is it a hopeful or negative feeling what you're trying to communicate? Or is it neutral? BTW, you're the only ne in this world to speak about teens without the need to speak about teenage angst, thanks god!

[Rei]

Very simple. And honest. Nice.

[tempted]

I wrotte this a couple of years ago when i was still a teenager i don't really remember what i was trying to say with it because a couple of years is "too long"
but the other day when i was cleaning up my bedroom i found some old school stuff and saw this, so i decided to post it here ....i don't think it has a negative feeling because i'm not a negative person or ever was one....

[Redpyramidhead]

I Like it a Lot Eli. I think in it's simplicity it says more than millions of other poems about the similar topic try to do with too many words and less understanding of their emotions. It sounds like even as a teenager, when one is trying to grasp such things for the first time in life, you had a pretty good idea of what was going on and that's why I can understand it when you say you were actually a pretty positive person. I have trouble labeling something either positive or negative, anywayz. Share some more, soon!

_RED_ stuff

[Meiko]

It's a nice little poem, I see some melancholy in it, but sort of positive melancholy. Do you have other poems?

[tempted]

Originally posted by Meiko

It's a nice little poem, I see some melancholy in it, but sort of positive melancholy. Do you have other poems?

I have some more but they're all in portuguese i'll try to translate them to english in a way that they make sence and post them soon...i'm glad you all liked it

[Faile]

God, I remember being sixteen and I wish I was again. Although I was depressed it was nowhere near as hard as having to look after myself.

Sorry, I digress.

/random

[merylsilverburg]

Heh, look at me posting for the first time in this forum and probably my last with all the flaming I'll receive for what I'm about to say.

eli, I do like your poem...as Rei said, it's simple and honest and I like how you left the poem up to the readers to interpret the feeling (either positive, negative, or neutral). However, to me, this poem isn't a positive one...instead, I see forms of teenage negative angst.

Being a teenager it's like flying without wings

The struggle here you're talking about is very clear; the fact you want to "fly" away, meaning freedom, but of course you're unable to do so because you have no wings to carry you away. Most teenagers want this...they want to get away, fly towards their freedom because they want to get away from all the pressures of whatever they're dealing with at home or school or whatnot. But of course, they can't. This isn't exactly positive to me.

I'ts like crying without tears

The fact that you want to let all of your emotions and struggles out through tears but unable to because you have to keep it inside in order to "move on/forward" in life. You're expressing your pain and sadness but keeping the "mask" on your face as to not show weakness towards others.

Speaking without words

Here, you want to express your thoughts, opinions, and desires, but as a mere teenager, you are supressed from expression and the fact that you are a teenager and probably unlikely to be taken seriously anyway. Or you are expressing your thoughts and feelings, but not what you truly/honestly think. Thus, speaking without words.

Feeling old without pain

Because of all the stress/pressures that life puts upon teenagers at that time, they tend to feel they experienced more than they really think. But yet, this part is being contradictive because you seem to know you haven't experienced all of the harsher and harder things in life, so you say "feeling old without pain" because you're saying you feel the "old age" involved with teenage problems, but without pain because it's not as bad as you think/or it seems.

I'ts like dying before you were born....

This phrase right here would have to be the most negative of the whole poem. When you say you die before you're born, it just means you believe you haven't even lived at all. On the day you were born, you merely went through life with that sort of "dead" and unfeeling outlook on life. Kinda similar to those people who say "whatever" to everything. This phrase is also contradictory because if you've "died" before you were born, then how can you understand what it's like to really feel, express, think, etc.? The first few in the beginning were very "expressive" and "angsty" with the whole freedom, crying, etc. but then you say "it's like dying before you're born", so how is that possible?

That's all for my analysis. Maybe I've got the whole poem wrong...maybe my impressions are just a little more negative or completely off. But, that's just how I see it. Regardless, it's still a nice poem though.

[tempted]

Wow you went thru all this trouble to analyse my poem...i guess it's your opinion i'm not going to answer you in any bad way meryl so don't worry...to me i never thought of it as a negative poem and i'll tell you why...

Being a teenager it's like flying without wings

to me this means...being able to experience a lot of diferent emotions and feelings and to go thru all feeling light without feeling afraid of what comes ahead...

I'ts like crying without tears

being able to say anything without beeing afraid of the response you'll get in return...

Speaking without words

when i was still a teenager i had friends that i could understand what they wanted to say to me without they telling me a single word..that's what this means..

Feeling old without pain

i went thru a lot of crap during that time but i never let myself down because of it..so that's what this phrase is about...

I'ts like dying before you were born....

This only means in my opinion that there will be lot of things that one has to go thru and maybe some are bad but some will do you some good and will only make you stronger...


I hope this makes any sence to you but like i said i don't see a bad feeling in it...

[merylsilverburg]

Originally Posted by eli

Wow you went thru all this trouble to analyse my poem...i guess it's your opinion i'm not going to answer you in any bad way meryl so don't worry...to me i never thought of it as a negative poem and i'll tell you why...

As I read your poem with your thoughts, I can see why you wrote it this way and it does make sense. I'm just stupid, so when I first read it, I took it as I saw it and didn't see "beyond" just your words...somehow though, I feel a poem written about all that you spoke of could've been written in a different way...but that's just me, heh. Sorry if I sounded like I was attacking your poem, I really wasn't, it was just my analysis. Thanks for explaining it.