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Jan 24th, 2004, 04:43 AM | #1 |
Now Im Nothing
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Rochester, NY
Age: 39
Posts: 2,415
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Dead inside
Hey...i am having trouble with some shit lately... but this is just somethign i wrote... Tell me what you think... Honesty is best... but just felt i could share this with all of you guys
Why cant I let this go Why wont I listen to myself Let it go make it go away Never listening to what I should do You’ve got a hold on me that isn’t easy to break I want you so bad but it must be a mistake You don’t want me and never will The thought of me without you makes me ill I choke and suffocate on this decision I make To leave it alone and finally break I don’t want to do it but I know I must Because there is nothing and I cannot trust You are too away to understand That all I want is to hold your hand I don’t like myself when I think of this All I do is moan and piss Stop fucking prolonging this and make it happen But I just cant I just cant I want you to want me but I cant make you When I hold you in my arms I want to break you I know you feel something no matter how hard you don’t want it I know I feel it hardcore and it eats me alive I want you to be with me I need this to survive You are not with me only as a friend But maybe that’s all you are in the end I need you to love me but I know you cant I feel this so strongly I wish it was you in my arms but you cant see me there So I wander around alone Forever alone I just cant…… I just cant
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"It wont give up it wants me dead... Goddamn this voice inside my head" five vicodin chased with a shot of clarity... |
Jan 24th, 2004, 09:45 AM | #2 |
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,265
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Well to tell you the truth i really liked it ...makes me think that you're are in a kind of heartbreaking moment ...but it's a good thing to be able to speak about your feelings like this...i just hoppe that the pain you're feeling right now will go away soon...
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Jan 24th, 2004, 11:18 PM | #3 |
The One & Only
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Being Reborn
Age: 41
Posts: 2,132
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I think this is beautiful, the emotions in it and use of words.
Im just so sorry your feeling like this. (Im guessing who it's to do with) This girl doesnt know what she's missing! Hopefully we'll chat soon. Your a great guy and you deserve a great girl who wont break your heart. Piggle x x x x
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Feb 5th, 2004, 12:16 PM | #4 |
Every One Dies Alone
Joined: May 2002
Location: In the depths of existance where the hot magma flows.
Age: 37
Posts: 1,057
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To tell you the truth, I didn't like it. I mean your message was good but the rhyming wasn't consistant and the flow wasn't constant. It's like you threw it together in five seconds and didn't put any effort into it. I didn't care for your dialect. I don't think it suits the message or feeling you were giving off. However, I do think it has great potential if you were to put more blood into it. And I do not mean gore.
But it's nothing personal, you know that. Hugs and kisses. I hope you can move on.
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All around me are familiar faces Worn out places Worn out faces Bright & early for the daily races Going nowhere Going nowhere Their tears R filling up their glasses No Xpression No Xpression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows No 2morrow No 2morrow & I find it kindof funny I find it kindof sad. These dreams in which i'm dying, R the best I've ever had Last edited by Lost_myth; Feb 5th, 2004 at 12:18 PM.. |
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