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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 04:43 AM   #1
trunks69420
Now Im Nothing
 
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Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Rochester, NY
Age: 39
Posts: 2,415
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Dead inside

Hey...i am having trouble with some shit lately... but this is just somethign i wrote... Tell me what you think... Honesty is best... but just felt i could share this with all of you guys



Why cant I let this go
Why wont I listen to myself
Let it go make it go away
Never listening to what I should do
You’ve got a hold on me that isn’t easy to break
I want you so bad but it must be a mistake
You don’t want me and never will
The thought of me without you makes me ill
I choke and suffocate on this decision I make
To leave it alone and finally break
I don’t want to do it but I know I must
Because there is nothing and I cannot trust
You are too away to understand
That all I want is to hold your hand
I don’t like myself when I think of this
All I do is moan and piss
Stop fucking prolonging this and make it happen
But I just cant

I just cant

I want you to want me but I cant make you
When I hold you in my arms I want to break you
I know you feel something no matter how hard you don’t want it
I know I feel it hardcore and it eats me alive
I want you to be with me
I need this to survive
You are not with me only as a friend
But maybe that’s all you are in the end
I need you to love me but I know you cant
I feel this so strongly
I wish it was you in my arms but you cant see me there
So I wander around alone
Forever alone

I just cant…… I just cant
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five vicodin chased with a shot of clarity...
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 09:45 AM   #2
tempted
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Well to tell you the truth i really liked it ...makes me think that you're are in a kind of heartbreaking moment ...but it's a good thing to be able to speak about your feelings like this...i just hoppe that the pain you're feeling right now will go away soon...
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 11:18 PM   #3
Piggle_humsy
The One & Only
 
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Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Being Reborn
Age: 41
Posts: 2,132
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I think this is beautiful, the emotions in it and use of words.
Im just so sorry your feeling like this.
(Im guessing who it's to do with)
This girl doesnt know what she's missing!
Hopefully we'll chat soon.
Your a great guy and you deserve a great girl who wont break your heart.

Piggle
x x x x
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Old Feb 5th, 2004, 12:16 PM   #4
Lost_myth
Every One Dies Alone
 
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Joined: May 2002
Location: In the depths of existance where the hot magma flows.
Age: 37
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mog

To tell you the truth, I didn't like it. I mean your message was good but the rhyming wasn't consistant and the flow wasn't constant. It's like you threw it together in five seconds and didn't put any effort into it. I didn't care for your dialect. I don't think it suits the message or feeling you were giving off. However, I do think it has great potential if you were to put more blood into it. And I do not mean gore.

But it's nothing personal, you know that. Hugs and kisses. I hope you can move on.
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All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places Worn out faces
Bright & early for the daily races
Going nowhere Going nowhere
Their tears R filling up their glasses
No Xpression No Xpression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows

No 2morrow No 2morrow
& I find it kindof funny I find it kindof sad.
These dreams in which i'm dying, R the best I've ever had

Last edited by Lost_myth; Feb 5th, 2004 at 12:18 PM..
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