The Back Door

Sword 4 Hire · Oct 26th, 2002, 08:14 PM

The Back Door

By: S4H

I store the feelings through a loop hole
Before tying them away
Concealed myself from the windows
For the shutter's closed today

The vacant sign is empty
Straying you from the door
Leaving my state of vision
Till the feelings are no more

The picture frame is broken
The memories torn in two
The only thought I recelect
Is the thought known as you

I carve a peep hole through the wall
To see if your around
But all I see is the tail of your dress
Dragging along the ground

West in direction
While I sit in the East
Starvation crumbling my inside
While you enjoy your feast

Waiting for you was torture
Destroying my sense of mind
But I have only one last request

...Would you knock one last time?

Lost_myth · Oct 27th, 2002, 01:05 PM

I found myself reading this poem several times. The imagery is good and the language was interesting.

I like how I felt when I finished reading it the second time, a sense of discovery. The meaning for me, of this poem, really hit me hard. Brillant!

Black Heart · Oct 30th, 2002, 09:59 PM

I agree on the good imagery comment made by Blue3vilx, plus, I like the claustrophobic sense that seems to come and go, come and go, till the end.

Hylas · Oct 31st, 2002, 08:33 AM

Wow! This poem is just terrific! Excellent! *starts talking like Mr. Burns*

Beretta55 · Nov 1st, 2002, 04:46 AM

excellant job S4H!! i alway's look foreward to your work and this poem hit me hard kinda.

Sword 4 Hire · Nov 1st, 2002, 04:48 PM

Thanks everyone

Oct 26th, 2002, 08:14 PM	#1
Sword 4 Hire Retired... Joined: Jan 2002 Location: Swamp hill. Age: 37 Posts: 1,632	The Back Door The Back Door By: S4H I store the feelings through a loop hole Before tying them away Concealed myself from the windows For the shutter's closed today The vacant sign is empty Straying you from the door Leaving my state of vision Till the feelings are no more The picture frame is broken The memories torn in two The only thought I recelect Is the thought known as you I carve a peep hole through the wall To see if your around But all I see is the tail of your dress Dragging along the ground West in direction While I sit in the East Starvation crumbling my inside While you enjoy your feast Waiting for you was torture Destroying my sense of mind But I have only one last request ...Would you knock one last time? __________________ and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword...

Oct 27th, 2002, 01:05 PM	#2
Lost_myth Every One Dies Alone Joined: May 2002 Location: In the depths of existance where the hot magma flows. Age: 37 Posts: 1,057	I found myself reading this poem several times. The imagery is good and the language was interesting. I like how I felt when I finished reading it the second time, a sense of discovery. The meaning for me, of this poem, really hit me hard. Brillant! __________________ All around me are familiar faces Worn out places Worn out faces Bright & early for the daily races Going nowhere Going nowhere Their tears R filling up their glasses No Xpression No Xpression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows No 2morrow No 2morrow & I find it kindof funny I find it kindof sad. These dreams in which i'm dying, R the best I've ever had

Nov 1st, 2002, 04:46 AM	#5
Beretta55 Reached for the sky Joined: May 2002 Location: The road less traveled Age: 34 Posts: 2,465	excellant job S4H!! i alway's look foreward to your work and this poem hit me hard kinda. __________________

Nov 1st, 2002, 04:48 PM	#6
Sword 4 Hire Retired... Joined: Jan 2002 Location: Swamp hill. Age: 37 Posts: 1,632	Thanks everyone __________________ and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword...

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The Back Door

Oct 30th, 2002, 09:59 PM	#3
Black Heart Mighty Captain Joined: Mar 2002 Location: Nautilus Posts: 273	I agree on the good imagery comment made by Blue3vilx, plus, I like the claustrophobic sense that seems to come and go, come and go, till the end.

Oct 31st, 2002, 08:33 AM	#4
Hylas Now or Never Joined: Jan 2002 Location: Zürich Age: 42 Posts: 2,456	Wow! This poem is just terrific! Excellent! starts talking like Mr. Burns


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