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Jan 10th, 2004, 09:25 PM | #1 |
Registered User
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Unknown?
Age: 40
Posts: 3
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Insainty
Here is a poem I wrote when I was heavily depressed and on the edge of sanity
As I lie there in my bed What are these monsters in my head Telling me they want me dead They only seem to come at night With my mind they try to fight I get so scared my chest goes tight Why don't they just dissapear So in my mind I can think clear And hopefuly lose all my fear On my brain they like to squeze In my mind they like to tease everybody help me please But as I wake from the land of nod I sometimes ask Why me god What the fuck have I done wrong To deserve this shit thats in my song |
Jan 20th, 2004, 04:50 PM | #2 |
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,265
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Uau ...that's all i can say .... after i read it, i totally connected to it, just a couple of weeks ago i was feeling really bad and it's weird how someone could writte something that would say so much to me...i hoppe you're not depressed anymore ...it's a really cool poem...
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Jan 21st, 2004, 02:48 PM | #3 |
Dark Queen
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: in your dreams
Age: 37
Posts: 589
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that is a deep poem your really talented to be honest some of the best poetry comes from when you heavily depressed
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Jan 24th, 2004, 11:22 PM | #4 |
The One & Only
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Being Reborn
Age: 41
Posts: 2,132
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Amazing.. I really connected with it.. like eli said. I was feeling that way a couple of years ago... Im still down but better than I was.
I think alot of people could connect with that sadly. Great stuff. Piggle x x x x
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Feb 12th, 2004, 01:36 PM | #5 |
ys.
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: ex-ex-exeter, disunited kingdom
Age: 40
Posts: 1,137
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Slight critique -
Spelling of insanity is wrong in the title and you don't really need every line to rhyme. For me that takes away from the feeling you are conveying in your work.
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Mar 27th, 2004, 12:28 AM | #6 |
Every One Dies Alone
Joined: May 2002
Location: In the depths of existance where the hot magma flows.
Age: 37
Posts: 1,057
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I was trying to figure out if you were talking about Land of nod like from this uhh Internet FPS game or some weird thing I looked up? J/w I'm interested. Can you specify?
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All around me are familiar faces Worn out places Worn out faces Bright & early for the daily races Going nowhere Going nowhere Their tears R filling up their glasses No Xpression No Xpression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows No 2morrow No 2morrow & I find it kindof funny I find it kindof sad. These dreams in which i'm dying, R the best I've ever had |
Mar 27th, 2004, 03:11 AM | #7 |
pazparacolombia
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Restless dreams...
Age: 43
Posts: 2,002
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I can relate, too. Good luck with your poetry. This is a good start you have here. As you write more and more, you're unique voice begins to show in new and exciting ways.
_RED_ stuff
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"..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..." |
Mar 27th, 2004, 03:11 AM | #8 |
pazparacolombia
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Restless dreams...
Age: 43
Posts: 2,002
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woops...somebody delete this double post please.
_RED_ stuff
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"..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..." Last edited by Redpyramidhead; Mar 27th, 2004 at 03:13 AM.. |
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