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#1 |
Retired...
![]() Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Swamp hill.
Age: 38
Posts: 1,632
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The Back Door
The Back Door
By: S4H I store the feelings through a loop hole Before tying them away Concealed myself from the windows For the shutter's closed today The vacant sign is empty Straying you from the door Leaving my state of vision Till the feelings are no more The picture frame is broken The memories torn in two The only thought I recelect Is the thought known as you I carve a peep hole through the wall To see if your around But all I see is the tail of your dress Dragging along the ground West in direction While I sit in the East Starvation crumbling my inside While you enjoy your feast Waiting for you was torture Destroying my sense of mind But I have only one last request ...Would you knock one last time?
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and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword... |
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#2 |
Every One Dies Alone
![]() Joined: May 2002
Location: In the depths of existance where the hot magma flows.
Age: 37
Posts: 1,057
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I found myself reading this poem several times. The imagery is good and the language was interesting.
I like how I felt when I finished reading it the second time, a sense of discovery. The meaning for me, of this poem, really hit me hard. Brillant!
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All around me are familiar faces Worn out places Worn out faces Bright & early for the daily races Going nowhere Going nowhere Their tears R filling up their glasses No Xpression No Xpression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows ![]() No 2morrow No 2morrow & I find it kindof funny I find it kindof sad. These dreams in which i'm dying, R the best I've ever had |
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#3 |
Mighty Captain
![]() Joined: Mar 2002
Location: Nautilus
Posts: 273
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I agree on the good imagery comment made by Blue3vilx, plus, I like the claustrophobic sense that seems to come and go, come and go, till the end.
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#4 |
Now or Never
![]() Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Zürich
Age: 42
Posts: 2,456
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Wow! This poem is just terrific! Excellent! *starts talking like Mr. Burns*
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#5 |
Reached for the sky
![]() Joined: May 2002
Location: The road less traveled
Age: 34
Posts: 2,465
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excellant job S4H!! i alway's look foreward to your work and this poem hit me hard kinda.
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#6 |
Retired...
![]() Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Swamp hill.
Age: 38
Posts: 1,632
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Thanks everyone
__________________
and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword... |
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Bookmarks |
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Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Chara's back, back again. Chara's back, tell a friend. | Chara | General Chat | 11 | May 19th, 2003 10:32 AM |
Guess who's back, back again.... | jjmoohead | General Chat | 47 | Aug 1st, 2002 10:38 PM |
This is a really long story It is pretty good, cus I wrote it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | AudioBoxer | Creativity Forum | 16 | Jul 31st, 2002 12:04 PM |
*MGS2 fanfic...* | Esjay | Creativity Forum | 11 | Jun 30th, 2002 08:34 AM |
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