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Oct 31st, 2003, 01:01 PM | #1 |
Senior Member
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Posts: 2,265
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Teenager...
Being a teenager it's like flying without wings
I'ts like crying without tears Speaking without words Feeling old without pain I'ts like dying before you were born.... |
Oct 31st, 2003, 10:16 PM | #2 |
Now or Never
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Zürich
Age: 42
Posts: 2,456
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I remember than being a teenager for most people is crap. They kept on crying real tears, and speaking their minds out to let us know - the stupid because not very troubled teenagers - we were traitors.
I'm not sure I got the actual feeling of your brief poem eli: is it a hopeful or negative feeling what you're trying to communicate? Or is it neutral? BTW, you're the only ne in this world to speak about teens without the need to speak about teenage angst, thanks god! |
Oct 31st, 2003, 10:33 PM | #3 |
EVA 00 Pilot
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: NERV
Age: 41
Posts: 2,239
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Very simple. And honest. Nice.
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Nov 1st, 2003, 04:12 PM | #4 |
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,265
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I wrotte this a couple of years ago when i was still a teenager i don't really remember what i was trying to say with it because a couple of years is "too long"
but the other day when i was cleaning up my bedroom i found some old school stuff and saw this, so i decided to post it here ....i don't think it has a negative feeling because i'm not a negative person or ever was one.... |
Nov 2nd, 2003, 02:21 AM | #5 |
pazparacolombia
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Restless dreams...
Age: 43
Posts: 2,002
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I Like it a Lot Eli. I think in it's simplicity it says more than millions of other poems about the similar topic try to do with too many words and less understanding of their emotions. It sounds like even as a teenager, when one is trying to grasp such things for the first time in life, you had a pretty good idea of what was going on and that's why I can understand it when you say you were actually a pretty positive person. I have trouble labeling something either positive or negative, anywayz. Share some more, soon!
_RED_ stuff
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"..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..." |
Nov 2nd, 2003, 02:22 PM | #6 |
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Wales
Age: 37
Posts: 537
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It's a nice little poem, I see some melancholy in it, but sort of positive melancholy. Do you have other poems?
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Nov 2nd, 2003, 02:50 PM | #7 | |
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,265
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Nov 28th, 2003, 12:45 PM | #8 |
ys.
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: ex-ex-exeter, disunited kingdom
Age: 40
Posts: 1,137
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God, I remember being sixteen and I wish I was again. Although I was depressed it was nowhere near as hard as having to look after myself.
Sorry, I digress. /random
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Mar 28th, 2004, 06:23 AM | #9 | |||||
Enemy or Ally?
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,023
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Re: Teenager...
Heh, look at me posting for the first time in this forum and probably my last with all the flaming I'll receive for what I'm about to say.
eli, I do like your poem...as Rei said, it's simple and honest and I like how you left the poem up to the readers to interpret the feeling (either positive, negative, or neutral). However, to me, this poem isn't a positive one...instead, I see forms of teenage negative angst. Quote:
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That's all for my analysis. Maybe I've got the whole poem wrong...maybe my impressions are just a little more negative or completely off. But, that's just how I see it. Regardless, it's still a nice poem though.
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"You're a louse Roger Smith" ~ R. Dorothy Wayneright "Have a little priest" ~ Mrs. Lovett "Grim Reaper, you could not get the women? What was the problem? Didn't you reap them with your grim reaping equipment?" "I tried that but the women, they all know hopscotch" ~ Eddie Izzard You Can Help Last edited by merylsilverburg; Mar 28th, 2004 at 06:26 AM.. |
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Apr 1st, 2004, 06:06 AM | #10 | |||||
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,265
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Wow you went thru all this trouble to analyse my poem...i guess it's your opinion i'm not going to answer you in any bad way meryl so don't worry...to me i never thought of it as a negative poem and i'll tell you why...
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I hope this makes any sence to you but like i said i don't see a bad feeling in it... |
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Apr 5th, 2004, 05:04 AM | #11 | |
Enemy or Ally?
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,023
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Quote:
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"You're a louse Roger Smith" ~ R. Dorothy Wayneright "Have a little priest" ~ Mrs. Lovett "Grim Reaper, you could not get the women? What was the problem? Didn't you reap them with your grim reaping equipment?" "I tried that but the women, they all know hopscotch" ~ Eddie Izzard You Can Help |
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