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Feb 3rd, 2002, 09:47 PM | #1 |
Cream Puff
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Stevens Point, Wisconsin
Age: 38
Posts: 2,713
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Sword of Hades
[COLOR=sky blue]The Sword of Hades was the mystical artifact that bound the many races together. Whoever wielded this sword was in essence, the ruler of the world and could summon an undead army. The Black Rose Knights are sworn protecters of the sword and he who wields it. A man named Jarai became the ruler after the War of the Cloud. Jarai took command of the legions and started to pillage the villages of Trituna. The BRK couldn't stand to have the sword used for evil. They then declared war against Jarai and his undead legions. Jarai easily smashed the BRK, except for one. Mourdor Bloodleaf is the sole survivor of this once proud noblity. He and his elven fiancee, Linnea Askins, fled to the human town of Krad. The story begins a year later after the incident.
This is just the intro to the story. I will continue the story ASAP. I could use some more characters because right now, there are only three characters. Please PM me or post here if you would like to be part of the story and I'll fit you in. Suggestions are always welcome.[/COLOR]
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You will walk in fire, earth, water, and air, through temptation, and at last into despair and desolation. |
Feb 4th, 2002, 12:58 PM | #2 |
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Um...? *Pulls out map*
Age: 40
Posts: 1,887
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Say Mourdor that sounds really good!
Can't wait to read the story of it, keep it up
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Feb 5th, 2002, 12:39 PM | #3 |
Angel of Darkness
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere, but then again nowhere
Age: 38
Posts: 1,692
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It is good, diferent, but good, where is the rest
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Feb 5th, 2002, 04:38 PM | #4 |
HERO!
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Cambridgeshire,England
Posts: 695
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you should make that into a computer game.
cool storyline.
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HERO WANNABE!! |
Feb 5th, 2002, 05:01 PM | #5 |
Retired...
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Swamp hill.
Age: 37
Posts: 1,632
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Oooohhh snap that's a cool idea!!
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and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword... |
Feb 5th, 2002, 05:50 PM | #6 |
Cream Puff
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Stevens Point, Wisconsin
Age: 38
Posts: 2,713
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[COLOR=sky blue]I tore my room inside out trying to find that damn disk. I can't find it anywhere. If my friend doesn't have it, I'm going to have to rewrite it. I've already started on the first chapter.[/COLOR]
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You will walk in fire, earth, water, and air, through temptation, and at last into despair and desolation. |
Feb 5th, 2002, 06:07 PM | #7 |
Taijutsu Master
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Konoha Village
Age: 38
Posts: 2,129
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Put that one pic i drew for you yesterday as a character in your story. I know you love elves in armor.
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Feb 5th, 2002, 06:15 PM | #8 |
Cream Puff
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Stevens Point, Wisconsin
Age: 38
Posts: 2,713
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[COLOR=sky blue]Sorry, Steve. No access to scanner until Thursday, if lucky. Damn librarians.[/COLOR]
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You will walk in fire, earth, water, and air, through temptation, and at last into despair and desolation. |
Feb 5th, 2002, 09:07 PM | #9 |
EVA 00 Pilot
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: NERV
Age: 41
Posts: 2,239
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Now I'm curious...
Not fair you only posted the intro! |
Feb 5th, 2002, 10:40 PM | #10 |
Cream Puff
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Stevens Point, Wisconsin
Age: 38
Posts: 2,713
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[COLOR=sky blue]The story is told through Mourdor's PoV
Chapter One- The Fountain of Woe The watchman just finishes lighting the torches of the town. I put on my armor and grab my sword and rush out of the house. Unsure of where I'm going, I run through the streets trying to find my way. "Where did she say to meet her?" I ask myself as I lean against a building, trying to catch my breath. "Better get moving before she kills me." I keep dashing through the alleys trying to find the fountain. An older woman walks towards me. Well, she's actually younger than me, but she's human. "You lost, elf?" The lady says. There isn't much respect towards elves in this town. "Yes, madam. I can't seem to find the town fountain." She looks at me with a troubled look. "You elves aren't really bright. The fountain is just over there." She points behind her and I see running water. "Thanks, my lady." I flip her a silver and a run to the fountain. I turn the corner and I was startled. A tall, slender body was rested on the edge of the fountain. Long silver hair flowing down her body. Her hand making waves in the water. I was stunned by her beauty. I slowly approach her. She peers at me out of the corner of her eye. "It's about time you showed up! Where the heck were you?" I didn't answer, knowing that she'd yell at me for making excuses. "Sorry. I'm here now, though." I sit next to her on the fountain. We talk for a while to lighten the mood. Then she gets serious. "Mourdor, when can we go back to our homelands? These people are creul and I'm homesick." "I don't know if we are able to ever go back. Jarai took control of Polistinai." She falls silent. I decide not to say anything. Three shadowy figures appear from one of the alleys. "Mourdor Bloodleaf, are you not?" The lead man says abruptly. "I am him!" I stand waiting a reply. The man shifts his cloak aside. His armor shimmering in the moonlight. "That crest..." I notice the crest on his armor. "What do you want here?" "Jarai summons you to appear before him on counts of treason. If you resist, we are forced to carry out your sentence here and now." The man puts his hand on the handle of his sword. I do the same. "Jarai can come himself if he wants me." I draw my sword. Whatever people were standing around have now fled in terror. Linnea stays seated at the other end of the fountain. "So be it..." The man signals his two flunkies to attack. While high in skill, these men were awfully arrogant. A couple quick slashes dispatches the two cronies. I turn to where the man was before. Nothing. "Over here, traitor." I spin around to see that he has Linnea in his clutches. "Let her go! She is not part of this." "A fair trade then." He suggests. "If you come with me, she goes free. If not, then, I guess you can imagine that." The words pierce my heart. "Mourdor, don't do it!" "Talk all you want, wench! He won't let you die." A burning rage builds up within me. "I'll do what you wish. Now let her go." I cautiously put my sword away in it's sheath. I slowly walk around the fountain. "Place your sword in the fountain." He demands. I do as he says. "Pathetic moron!" He quickly slides his dagger across the neck of Linnea. He then hurls her into the water. I couldn't move. I see her body slowly fall into the fountain water. "I had hoped you were more of a challenge." I pull a dagger from my cloak and charge at the man. He gracefully evades and jumps on top of one of the buildings. "We'll meet again." He dashes across from house to house. "Get back here!" I scream to no avail. I drop the dagger and hastfully sprint over to the fountain. The water was turning dark red. I pull Linnea out of the water and gently lay her on the ground. Her cut wasn't bad, but her lungs were filling with blood. Her speech was in short gasps. "It's...not your...fault...Mour...dor." She coughs out blood. Her dress soaken with water and blood. "Don't speak, Linnea. I'll find a chemist to help." "Don't bother...I don't have...enough time. Remember...I will...always love...yo...u." Linnea's eyes slowly close. Her breathing stopped. "Linnea? Linnea? Can you hear me?" I desprately blurt out. "You can't leave me! Linnea, you...can't leave...me." I hold her close to me. Her body already becoming cold. "Why...did this happen to you?" A tear falls from my face and lands on her cheek. A cold rain starts to fall, washing away the blood on the road. "LINNEA!"[/COLOR]
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You will walk in fire, earth, water, and air, through temptation, and at last into despair and desolation. |
Feb 5th, 2002, 11:02 PM | #11 |
EVA 00 Pilot
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: NERV
Age: 41
Posts: 2,239
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OMG! :eek:
This is an awesome beginning for your epic fiction man! Really! I usually find hard getting involved into long fantasy fictions, because very often they're just copies of famous books/games, but I think your work is very original and well written! I can't wait to read the next part! |
Feb 5th, 2002, 11:34 PM | #12 |
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Mississuaga, Canada.
Posts: 3,554
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Cool!!!
Yes That Was Great. Although I Am Sad That Linnea Died......But...I Am Sure Mourdor Will Take His Revenge!!!
But Its Really Nice Man!.! I Really Liked It!
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Feb 6th, 2002, 03:55 PM | #13 |
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Um...? *Pulls out map*
Age: 40
Posts: 1,887
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Wow that was excellent Mourdor!
How awful for Linnea to die so soon in the story though But its still an excellent story, I can't wait to read the next chapter! keep it up!
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"I'm back! But for how long who knows? But PS2Fantasy will always be on my mind!" |
Feb 6th, 2002, 04:13 PM | #14 |
Cream Puff
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Stevens Point, Wisconsin
Age: 38
Posts: 2,713
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[COLOR=sky blue]Thanks for the kind responses guys. I'll get chapter two up as soon as possible.[/COLOR]
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You will walk in fire, earth, water, and air, through temptation, and at last into despair and desolation. |
Feb 6th, 2002, 04:19 PM | #15 |
HERO!
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Cambridgeshire,England
Posts: 695
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you deserve the responses that was well cool!
you should turn it into a book aswell!!!
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HERO WANNABE!! |
Feb 6th, 2002, 05:11 PM | #16 |
The Jebster
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Concord, MI
Age: 36
Posts: 636
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Awesome dude! Too bad about Linnea though. I hope Moudor kicks that stupid guys butt .
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Feb 7th, 2002, 02:11 PM | #17 | |
Now or Never
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Zürich
Age: 42
Posts: 2,456
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Quote:
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Feb 7th, 2002, 09:22 PM | #18 |
Retired...
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Swamp hill.
Age: 37
Posts: 1,632
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Way to start your story out with a bang! Although I'm wondering, I thought that the guy in armor was there to capture Mourdor, so how come he ran away, was he feeling threatened, or just running from the scene of the crime?
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and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword... |
Feb 8th, 2002, 01:13 PM | #19 |
Cream Puff
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Stevens Point, Wisconsin
Age: 38
Posts: 2,713
|
[COLOR=sky blue]The reason why he ran was to lure Mourdor to come. It is easier to get someone to come on their own free will.
BTW, I should have Chapter II up by Sunday.[/COLOR]
__________________
You will walk in fire, earth, water, and air, through temptation, and at last into despair and desolation. |
Feb 8th, 2002, 04:25 PM | #20 |
The Jebster
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Concord, MI
Age: 36
Posts: 636
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Can't wait!
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