»

[merylsilverburg]

If this thread gets locked or deleted, I have no problem. I'm just so angry right now and just need to vent off from what happened today at work.

I work as a cashier/waitress at my family Chinese restaurant and you know how at some places there's a jar where the customers can dump extra change or pennies in? Well, ever since 3 years ago I came up with that idea and labeled a jar "PENNIES". It's been there all this time and completely fine with the customers; no complaints whatsoever.
Today, however, this annoying Asian family of 3 came in (dad, mother, and daughter) and did the most unbelievable thing. They ate their meal and then the daughter came up to the counter and said to my mom, "Did you know you spelled "Pennies" wrong?" and pointed to the jar. She then told my mom that what I spelled is actually "PenIs" instead of "Pennies"!! And then she says to my mom, "You really shouldn't put bad words like that out in the world" and walked back to her table. Can you guys believe that?!?! This woman actually thought I spelled "Pennies" wrong!! She's this stupid college girl who can't even speak or read English that well and she's criticizing me for not being able to spell when I was born and raised in the US and English is my first language! And get this: her parents are both college profesors in the town where I live! WTF is that about?! And what made this situation annoying was that during their meal, they kept staring at me and making little smirks and the two parents had that "I'm so proud of my daughter" look on their face. This is how Asians are and it makes me furious! And to make it worse, my mom actually told me that I should be careful what I write next time!
And for those who are going to say to me that I'm being cruel to the family...I actually am not. If they can't speak or read English that well, what makes them think they can say something like this about me when English is my first language? And also, Asians aren't the only people who come into the restaurant. There's Americans, Europeans...if I really did spell "Pennies" incorrectly, don't you think they would've pointed it out to me....3 years ago?!

It's these stupid annoying things that I encounter from Asians which makes me dislike a large majority of them. And this isn't even the worst of it, but I just cannot believe this situation even happened.

[Chara]

Wow that really sucks. I would've shoved the Jar in the parent's face and say "Does this look like penis to you?!?!". But then again I get fired from jobs easily. So umm... yea. I juess taht wouldn't be the best thing to do in that situation.

But it does suck at how asian parents are alsways so damn proud of thier kids that they are blind to what really happens. Parents are worse than the kids themselves.

[BlackThornn]

"MyKidCanDoNoWrong" mothers and families are all-to-common in america. I can't say about asia or europe, but there are too many fucking STUPID parents in this country.

Really burns me up that you had to suffer these twits in your work, Meryl. And yes, somebody WOULD have noticed if your pennies jar said "penis" and told you long before some barely-speaking-english Asian child and his/her family came about.

Shoulda just told them to pay for services rendered then just bugger off.

[Pu the Owl]

Meryl, just to reassure you and Blackthornn: parents are like that in every part of the "civilized" world. Or better, some of them are like that. And actually, it's their way of acting that ruins kids most of the times. There are kids (some of them aged 4 or 5) who are real bastards, and if you look at their family more carefully, you'll notice it's because it's their parents who aren't very good at their job in the first place.

What happened to you is really bad. It must suck to have customers like these people who are so stupid to come and tell you such things, just to make you feel embarassed. Most of all, it must be terrible to be unable to reply in a proper way (telling them to ... well, you got the point...). I know these things can make you really angry, and you have all the reasons to be, but listen, being mad at those people is unuseful, 'cause they'll never see how ridiculous they are. People like the members of that family are 100% sure they can never be wrong. It's always the others to be wrong. They have very limited perspectives. The more they are like that, the more this fact is evidence of their ignorance and lack of intelligence. Be pissed, be angry, but never feel embarassed because of these idiots! You don't have to be!
The worst thing is your mother telling you to be careful. But maybe she didn't really mean that, it was just the situation.

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by Fortune

Meryl, just to reassure you and Blackthornn: parents are like that in every part of the "civilized" world. Or better, some of them are like that. And actually, it's their way of acting that ruins kids most of the times. There are kids (some of them aged 4 or 5) who are real bastards, and if you look at their family more carefully, you'll notice it's because it's their parents who aren't very good at their job in the first place.

Believe me, I know what you're talking about and it's completely true. The thing is, with Asian families, it's a little different than it is for other cultures, IMO. That's because Asians pride themselves very much in being intelligent (why do you think many assume Asians are really smart most of the time?) and when the son/daughter "proves" their brains, it makes the parents feel all arrogant and proud. Seriously, they always have that "Oh, you poor little restaurant people...so brainless, tsk, tsk". <--- This is the type of look that mother was giving off, along with the "I'm so proud of my daughter" crap and I'm not over-exaggerating.

What happened to you is really bad. It must suck to have customers like these people who are so stupid to come and tell you such things, just to make you feel embarassed. Most of all, it must be terrible to be unable to reply in a proper way (telling them to ... well, you got the point...).

Yes!! Exactly! You can't really tell them to "F*ck off" or anything because you're not supposed to. I wasn't able to do anything but keep my anger in the entire night.

I know these things can make you really angry, and you have all the reasons to be, but listen, being mad at those people is unuseful, 'cause they'll never see how ridiculous they are. People like the members of that family are 100% sure they can never be wrong. It's always the others to be wrong. They have very limited perspectives. The more they are like that, the more this fact is evidence of their ignorance and lack of intelligence. Be pissed, be angry, but never feel embarassed because of these idiots! You don't have to be!
The worst thing is your mother telling you to be careful. But maybe she didn't really mean that, it was just the situation.

I know what you're saying and I would never feel embarassed in this type of situation. And I also know it's no use to stay angry at these stupid people because there's no point and it's not really the healthiest thing to do.
And no, my mother really did mean what she said. My mom is one of those people who listens to others instead of her own daughters, so she was being dead serious about me being careful.

Thanks for the support and understanding Chara, BlackThornn, and Fortune.

[Infernal Mass]

that's out of hand.



I woulda said something like...

"Excuse me lady, Do you see any penis's in this jar? No, of course you don't, cause it's not for those!! .."It for pennies just like it says!"

..something like that.

[David]

Well, first I would give heck to the chinese family, for its ignorance and insulting me not to spell a difference to pennies to a "PENIS. And ask them to prononce what they told me, she be saying....P-E-N-I-S! And then hah and give them a face like this and another of these Yep, thats how I would of respond to them if I was in your shoes Meryl. Just rude ain't it!

[Hylas]

Meryl, I don't know what to say! I'm sorry for you! Being you I'd be so angry that I probably couldn't resist to tell them at least to learn to read and spell! Those idiots! I wonder who do they think they are? Geniuses? It's simply nauseating! Arrogant kids are annoying, but their parents deserve to be slapped! They sometimes create monsters! And they're proud of it!
I also think you should explain your mom your position: you can't let her trust them and not you!

[Reid]

Meryl, I can completely identify with the way you must have felt in that situation having worked as a cashier/customer assistance for the last two or three years.

It's the worst to have people come to you that think they're much smarter just because of the job that you're working and then try to rub it in your face, only making themselves look stupider for it.

I used to work at a bookstore and customers would assume I knew nothing about books because I was mostly up at the cash registers so a lot of them would completely discredit me if I offered any help or advice to them about anything.



It's always terrible when you have to deal with rude and ignorant people and bite your tongue because they're in the position of customer and you have to treat them nicely so they can provide money to your employer's business. A lot of people out there will completely take advantage of that situation because they know that they couldn't get away with it on a level playing field where you're both just people.

I find the best way to deal with that sort of thing is just realize that the rude ones are just acting very immaturely and they only make themselves look worse for treating those that provide a service for them poorly.

Oh, the joys of customer service!

[Rei]

Ignore those people meryl. They're just attention seekers. I've met many of them in my life, and the thing that irritates them most is being ignored or being treated like they're not worth your time.
As for your mother, try to explain her she's unfair with you. Customers are customers, but they're not untouchable.

[D][giTaL]

wow, that family has so much ingorance for other culture. The parents prolly didnt even read what the jar even said they prolly just went with what their daughter had told them. cause if they had really taken the time actually look, then anyone could have been able to know it said pennies. the pronunciation of the 2 words are totaly different ( pee-nis and pen - knees ) If you just a little bit of english you should be able to figure it out. and if you dont know that much they should have asked what it said.

[Frozen]

I actually find it kind of hilarious. I remember the first time I read the word pennies, penis crossed my head, buth then I thought, no, you idiot, the plural would be "penises", not pennies but still wondered what it meant, given the fact english is not my first language.

So anyway, yeah, what a fucking stupid girl. There is a simple truth, Meryl-chan, and it is, THAT CUSTOMERS SUCK. We all are customers, some of us work to attend customers other times. I, for one, deal with them all, and even though there's many nice people who know common courtesy there's others, that as Rei implied, believe themselves untouchable beings, and so, act like jackasses believing everyone has to kiss their arse.

As I was telling my boss, even though it is necessary to always give the customer advantage of word and benefit of doubt, THERE ARE LIMITS. But in businesses like restaurants or retail shops, the cutomer-ass-kissing policy prevails over all. I think it is damned bullshit.

Oh well, I understand your anger, Meryl-chan, I deal with similar stupidity very often. I never bow my head to them, though. If they don't like it, I apologise, then invite them to shop (or eat) somewhere else, in a very cordial way. But NEVER kiss their arse.

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by Hylas

I also think you should explain your mom your position: you can't let her trust them and not you!

I wish I could, but my mom is very stubborn and won't listen to me. She honestly believes that family is right just because the parents are both professors at the University. I've had to deal with my mom being this way for many years and I've let it go, but I just reached my limit that day.

Originally posted by Reid

It's the worst to have people come to you that think they're much smarter just because of the job that you're working and then try to rub it in your face, only making themselves look stupider for it.

So very true, but the annoying part is, they'll never know they're actually the stupid ones.

I used to work at a bookstore and customers would assume I knew nothing about books because I was mostly up at the cash registers so a lot of them would completely discredit me if I offered any help or advice to them about anything.

Yes! This bugs me quite a lot and I'm sorry you had to go through with this horrible situation yourself.

Thanks for the kind words and support everyone.

[Pu the Owl]

Originally posted by merylsilverburg
I know what you're saying and I would never feel embarassed in this type of situation. And I also know it's no use to stay angry at these stupid people because there's no point and it's not really the healthiest thing to do.
And no, my mother really did mean what she said. My mom is one of those people who listens to others instead of her own daughters, so she was being dead serious about me being careful.

I see... some parents are like that. They think "professor" means culture and knowledge, but many professors suffer from ignorance as any other human being

[Cannibal Clown]

Well, i feel kinda bad stating this, but i actually started laughing as i read it. It's not very funny to you i'm sure, and i'd be pissed and a half about something so stupid as well. I don't know if i can think of anything to say which would help you cope with it, but i guess i could say only this, "That kinda shit happens to the best of us. Some people are just that way." You'll get over it eventually and find that people like that are best left forgotten, along with the incident itself.

[Frozen]

That's actually very true, Meryl-chan, what CC just said, things like that are best left forgotten. As I said before, I have to deal with stupidity of the sort with a high frecuence, and from that I have learned that you better let that kind of thing roll off your back. At the moment it isn't that easy, but after, you better forget about the matter, otherwise it's gonna ruin your whole day.

[Redpyramidhead]

Hey Meryl. Like any day at work where it's stressful because of hard to deal with customers, I am sure you have your reasons for being angry. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I may have a bit of an unpopular opinion about this, though, but I believe I am in a special position to be jusitified in it. It is this sentiment against people who do not speak or write english perfectly as if they are lesser people, therefore do not have the right to speak their opinions. This is wrong.
Half of my family is Colombian whose first language was spanish. They have had to deal with not being taken seriously and had to listen to this "learn our fucking language or shut up mentality their whole lives." English is not an easy language to learn if you do not grow up with it and even if you did learn it you are still likely to make a few honest mistakes in spelling and grammar for the rest of your life.
Obviously...the girl was wrong about what the jar said and perhaps she was being arrogant about telling you off about your imaginary mistake, but it is not right to blame her for the language barrier part, IMO. Yes they were jerks for staring at you, but ....I dont know...I guess I would be more laid back about the whole situation. I would just find it extremely hilarious and laugh the whole thing off. You can't take things too personally or you'll drive yourself nuts.
And finally, it is probably none of my business, but I do not understand your contempt for asians. It's not like all ethnic groups don't have their faults. You just have to deal with them and focus more on us all being capable of different kinds of imperfections as human beings. I could say all kinds of things about hispanic people and white people, but I'm not going to because it is counter-productive just to complain. When I figure out a way to help other people better themselves for their own good, so that they may live more easily in this society, this melting pot we are in, then I might say things.
I am sorry, Meryl, if it sounds like I attacked your opinions, but I wasn't. I am positive you have nothing but justified reasons to back up yours. I just wanted to voice my opinion about a slightly larger picture I felt this whole thing was touching upon and nobody had mentioned, yet. I apologize if anything I said was out of line.
PEACE and may your days at work be less stressful and your mother be more easy to work with.


_RED_ stuff

[Hylas]

It's really sad to know your mom thought you were wrong just because of the profession of these people... Not all professors are like that, but some of them are really ignorant people who think they can never make mistakes because of their degree (or whatever). Your mom should think about the evidence of the fact they couldn't spell the word right, not about the fact they're professors! I wouldn't want to be taught by people like them in school

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by Redpyramidhead

I may have a bit of an unpopular opinion about this, though, but I believe I am in a special position to be jusitified in it. It is this sentiment against people who do not speak or write english perfectly as if they are lesser people, therefore do not have the right to speak their opinions. This is wrong.

Red, let me make one thing clear: I would never make fun or harass a person if they do not speak English well or if they have a hard time. Why? Because I know how hard it is to learn a new language and the difficulties to go through it. Again, why? Because my parents both do not speak English that well and I know they've struggled for a long time to learn a few and even now, they don't know how to speak fluently. I never said that people who don't speak/write English well are lesser people and should feel inferior and never voice out their opinions. This girl wasn't someone who was voicing out an opinion! She wasn't saying she thinks the jar said "pennies" or "penis". No...she arrogantly stated that I spelled "pennies" wrong and told my mother that "I should be more careful of what I write" because she thought she was right. She is a person who thinks she knows everything just because she goes to college, both her parents are professors, and just because we're "restaurant people" we're the inferior ones who didn't go through a proper education.

Half of my family is Colombian whose first language was spanish. They have had to deal with not being taken seriously and had to listen to this "learn our fucking language or shut up mentality their whole lives." English is not an easy language to learn if you do not grow up with it and even if you did learn it you are still likely to make a few honest mistakes in spelling and grammar for the rest of your life.

Yes, and my parents are both Taiwanese and Taiwanese/Mandarin is their first language. They also had to deal with the whole "fucking stupid Chinks, learn our language!!" problem.

Obviously...the girl was wrong about what the jar said and perhaps she was being arrogant about telling you off about your imaginary mistake, but it is not right to blame her for the language barrier part, IMO.

Again, I would never blame a person for not speaking English properly if it is their second language. Let's just say if the girl came up and asked, "Is that how you spell "pennies"? It looks like "penis" to me." and once she found out that she was wrong and apologized, then hey! It's all cool. But again...she did not do that. She acted as if English is her first language and came up thinking I didn't know English, when in fact...I do. You're right, Red. It's her annoying arrogance that drove me to become furious at her and parents. So, indeed...I do blame her in this situation, only because she thought she was higher in status than everyone else.

Yes they were jerks for staring at you, but ....I dont know...I guess I would be more laid back about the whole situation. I would just find it extremely hilarious and laugh the whole thing off. You can't take things too personally or you'll drive yourself nuts.

Maybe you're just more carefree than I am...but I don't see how you can find this situation funny. Let's just say if it was a Colombian person who knew how to speak English slightly and came up to you (and of course, you speak English fluently) and stated "You spelled "penis" instead of "pennies", did you know that? You should be careful what you put out in the world" and walks away. And...the person's family is looking at you with a smug look on their face and thinking you were a total retard...would you be laughing? If you say "sure", then fine..you're just more carefree than I am. However, I am not that type of a person and things like this piss me off to no end. And yes, I know I cannot take things personally, but are you asking me to not get angry at that moment? Because that is something that I cannot do whether I want to or not.

And finally, it is probably none of my business, but I do not understand your contempt for asians. It's not like all ethnic groups don't have their faults. You just have to deal with them and focus more on us all being capable of different kinds of imperfections as human beings. I could say all kinds of things about hispanic people and white people, but I'm not going to because it is counter-productive just to complain.

My contempt for Asians come from the fact that I just feel strongly about imperfections/faults than normal people do. Reasons for this: that's just the way I am, my feelings goes deeper into private matters, and my character judgement is eerily accurate. But that's not to say I don't feel strongly about other ethnic groups' faults. I, too, can say many things about different groups...however, I spot advantages as well. For Asians....yes, there are advantages and good things...but because I grew up and dealt with pure Asians and their cunning ways, I just have a more dislike for my own race. And because I can spot fakery easily and know the personality of a person by looking at them, it doesn't make my situation any better. Of course, what I say might not make sense to you (nor anyone else for that matter...which is why many tend to think I'm a huge racist), but I don't expect you to understand because my reasons are too complicated.

To clear things up: what I said isn't to say that all Asians are terrible, terrible beings. No... there are some wonderful and friendly Asians who are great to hang out with and get to know. But, the flaws tend to stand out more for me and in the end, my feelings usually change for the worst.
As for the girl, I'm sorry if I sound rude in saying she is annoying because she is so arrogant, but that's just the way I feel and the way she put herself out.

[Redpyramidhead]

Meryl, I would like to apologize if it sounded like I jumped to conclusions. The reason I spoke about people's problems with the language barrier wasn't specifically because of your original post, but more because of what some other people were said in this thread. Also, I think I just misinterpreted the whole situation.
I didn't mean to get you so anxious and I hope I didn't insult you at all. I was just voicing random opinions which may have actually been about something totally different because I think I misunderstood your story of what went on in the restoraunt with that arrogant girl. And finally, actually I still probably would have laughed if it happened to me even if the people involved were colombian because I guess I just am more laid back about things like that. I wouldn't say I'm carefree at all, though. I've got things on my mind allll the time and I need a break from them
Again, sorry about all that. I hope you weren't offended by anything I said.

_RED_ stuff