I Like this one. It sounds like somebody slowly ceasing to exist and the phrasing flows into the next line well and so on. Not many people have the hang of that in their poetry so it doesn't take you with them on their journey. Even though this is a short poem it suggests a much longer journey with fewer words.
_RED_ stuff
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"..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..."
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