Pointless Crap by Me!
 

I do this stuff when im bored at school and have nothing to do but stare at the wall..here goes nothing, ill try to do one story a day or so...

1. I was walking down the street one day when i saw a wise man. He told me that he would tell me wise stuff for a buck. I said Sure!! I gave him a dollar and he said something like "Think with your big head not your small out". I was confused so i gave him another dollar and he said "Ignorance is bliss" and i said what a load of piss! He said "Give me another dollar and i will tell you a wise way to say "piss" So i was like Okay! and i hgve him another dollar. He told me to say "poot" instead so when i have to take a wizz i feel really smart and tell everyone when I'm taking a "Poot"

2.How now brown cow they say, I say wow thats a cow? I thought it was my aunt...

3.Roses are Red Violets are green, in biology class i located a frogs spleen

4.Your driving down a road on a mountain and you run off the mountain. While falling you hit the brakes. Why? You cant stop gravity silly! SPLAT!!

Lol, funny man :p .

Wha?
 

That Is Funny But Absurd As Well.....!...... :)

Woh!!!!!! it boggles the mind,man does that have hidden meaning:eek: j/k:D [/b]

nah nothing hidden, just humor mixed with boredom..

Lol
That was funny BowevelJoe!

Keep it up ;)

That was nuts, but funny.

It's cool to write down the stuff that you think of out of the blue when you're bored.

You're pretty good at it. Why don't you write down your dreams too. Sometimes, you can turn those into some pretty wierd stories.

Todays Story
 

1.There once was a beaver, he was a really ugly fellow, so ugly he married a blind squirrel. He lived in a dam, an ugly dam that was so ugly it made people that saw it say stuff like "That sure is an ugly dam" and "Wheres my pineapple?" The beaver was a mean fellow with breath so reeky he was pulled over by the cops for doing 60 reeks in a 30 reek zone. He was once believed to be Richard Nixon and was moved into the Whitehouse. They say he was great. All he did all day was eat chairs and crap splinters all over the rugs. He left for home when they found the real Richard Nixon. He was found acting like a cow in a cattle ranch in Texas. They say that Bush was behind it, but Beaver Bob didnt care, he wanted to go eat some more wood and poop on things. That was the life of Bob the Beaver...

2.There was a smart man who lived long ago. He was the maker of many great inventions. He invented things like Human hand grenades, and things that did things, and some more things. Im not really sure that he was a smart man, but thats just me. Smart Ed is what they called him. He blew up 4 city blocks because he felt the urge to "mix the pretty blue chemicals with the neato green ones"He had an obsession with lighting peoples hair on fire, but this wasnt very fun for his friends because all he would do is laugh and spit on thier heads. Eventually he got married, but it didnt last long when he brought one of his human hand grenades home. He lived awhile, but listning to his dads saying "laughter is the best medicene" soon died of tuburculosis (sp? lol)

Wow:confused: That was um:confused: Well uhh, interesting.

You have the coolest imagination. I wish I could think up screwed up crap like that. It makes some sort of sence in a twisted way of coarse.

Keep it up....I suppose?

Wow that was very weird BowevelJoe
keep it up! :rolleyes:

Lessons of life from me- never pee on electric fenses or up hill

watch out for suicidal chipmunks and kamakazi gophers

those are just a few, Want more? probably not.

.............
 

Thursdays stuff
 

Makg i make this stuff up in class man, im writing whatever pops into my head lol

The Lord of the......Krud?

Along time ago, a really really long time ago, did i mention a really long time ago? There was a man by the name of Jrud who was about to embark on a pointless journey that no one cares about, nor neard heard about.One day while walking through the woods Jrud realized that he was all out of poo paper and went looking for some. While walking across a river Krud found mysterious ring that made him invisible, but oh well, this wasnt going to solve his problem, so he ate it because it was pretty. Soon after he exploded, but you could have never guessed because it was an invisible explosion. Weird eh?


One time while walking down the street i saw a funny looking old man driving by. I waved at him, and he flipped me off. I then began to act like i was having a heart attack. The old man, while watching me, ran straight into a ditch. God i love my grandpa.


you guys can post your random crap here too, you dont just have to post stuff like "wow thats wierd, or absurb, say whats on your mind lol...007 has the right idea!

obtusely cool

Oh yeah that would be good, I think that he is rubbing of on me I am doing stupid stuff like him more often

Friday(a bit late i know but..)
 

1.There once was an insane man, who ran from land to land. They called him Umbrella but no one knew why. Maybe it was because his head was shaped like an iron, or perhaps it was because he had flippers for feet, but Umbrella? He only knew how to grow hemp, but sometimes he was a pimp. His family owned a waffle plant and enjoyed jumping into the giant vat of waffle stuff. One time he was put through the machine and looked like a waffle for a week. He never really accomplished anything, besides being the first human waffle. He once thought he could take over the world by making a swirley hypnotizing designs on waffles, but the only person he hypnotized was himself and forgot what he was doing. The rest of his life was spent running aimlessly into walls and barking at tables. What a life!

2.There once was a story heard from a man, that was heard from another man, that was heard by crazy Frank who swore he heard it from a pooting cat, so were just going to take his word for it.
Way back in the day in the days of lords and samurai was a man by the name of Yackity Yack, who sometimes said "Dont talk back", to know one, people thought he was talking to himself, but he was acually talking to a turtle that lived in his kimono pocket. He was a great samurai in the clan of Bob. He accomplished many great things in his life like the ability to suck noodles through his nose, and being able to tell the day of the week by what condition his underpants were in. He lived a long and ate many strange things. One time he thought he ate a moose-phant(moose&elephant hybrid) but, it was only his wife. He had many-a-children whom he thought were cute, but acually favored neanderthals. They enjoyed grunting and eating sticks. Eventually Yackity Yack died of malnutrition, a little slow in the brain department, thought that kitty litter was a new type of grain.
The end :)

if im to weird for you guys ill stop, i mean i understand because i get that all the time lol...so just say so...

Here is one when I was young my father told me that the people that were riding their bikes on the road were killers, and that they murdered 5 people with shovels, and I was young when they rode past me I yelled at them and threw rocks at them, lol

hahaha 007 that was funny, lol throwing rocks at people riding by on bikes lol, im going to post my stuff for today soon, so be ready lol:p

Ill be waiting hope that it is good

You're nuts. I hope you don't talk like this to people in person at school. They'll think you're insaine.

Ah, but what do I know, I say dumb sh*t like that to people all the time.

But perhaps that's why I have no friends and everyone wants to kill me or see me be killed.

So confusing I guess. But i'm not complaining. Keep writing. It's funny as he11

Late...
 

1.They tekk you that its what on the inside that count, inner beauty they call it, but all thats on the inside is blood and guts. Unless your a cannibal, i think thats sick!


2.Something fun to do if you have an asian friend:
Go to a restraunt and act like your speaking chinese/japanese etc. and he can act like hes translating what your saying


3. Things not to do
Spray on cologne in front of an open flame
Laugh when fat angry people fall down, you may be thier next meal
Try to clean up spilled coke with a broom
Put nails in a bottle of water & dry ice
Paint a small room with the door closed
Pick boogers with a fork
Tell a girl she looks OK

4. Always rememberm green eggs and ham are that color for a reason.

Thats really funny !!!:D

Re: Late...
 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by BowevelJoe
1.They tekk you that its what on the inside that count, inner beauty they call it, but all thats on the inside is blood and guts. Unless your a cannibal, i think thats sick!

Is that some sort of indirect insult?
I feel hurt. <Starts gnawing on own leg> MMMM tastes like chicken.

That was good, I have more that i will be posting soon.

Cannibal Clown you have friends, dont give me that.

1. They say that human cloning is bad, and should be illegal. We already support it, look theres the backstreet boys, N Stink, Oh-Town etc. There is a factory somwhere in the United States that produces these spawns of satan. One day someone will shove a wrench into this factory of pure evil and rock shall reign surpreme once again. Until then, we can always dance to polka in our underwear! Woohoo!

2.I remember back in the days when Ninja Turtles where "it". I wonder, if there was such thing as Kung Fu Beavers, would it have caught on the same? Maybe or maybe not, the names of these Beavers of good deeds? Chuck, Eddie, Petrified, and Oak? Perhaps, but we may never know...

3.Peanut butter has been known to be hazardous to your health, the side effects such as constipation, Pea-but sydrome, and Happy Slappy Clappy Pappy Hibbidy Jibbidy yeah buddy your gonna die now symptons have also occured. Dont be alarmed though, these only goes for you Jiffy folks :)

4.There once was a clown, a really sad clown. He tryed to make everyone happy. He spend most of his time eating ice cream. Only problem:He was lactose intolerant. Most people were scared of him, everywhere he went, the trail of green smog remained. They called him Smiley Smells. He was embarrased because of the squishy noise his pants made when he walked or sat down. He was always in need of a bathroom, he had wanted posters in gas stations across 15 states known as the "Happy Uni-Pooper" But they could never seem to get em. He once blew out the swer pipes of a banl. One minute the lady claims she was taking deposits and the next, she was knee deep in magical manure water. Smiley Smells quit the circus to go on a mission to clog up toilets all over the world. He even got Beano to sponser him on this great quest. One of these days we are going to read about this in our history books and be proud. Smiley smells is my hero!

thats funny:D
but peanut butter can actually give you cancer, yes its true!, you have to eat about ten tons each day though.:D

Wow that was good, Joe.

Oh man I just had one, then I forgot it, just wait it will come to me.

I just had a peanut butter sandwich as well. But now I have to go to the bathroom but I'm scared because what if he's down there, doing his majic right now? I want to keep my clothes clean and the bathroom smelling good, but this new meanase could be the bringer of all evil and when something like this gets control of the septics, then there is no stopping it.

aye, peanut butter poopie can be a mean one, LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!!! Its digested salami, RUN FOR IT!!!

Watch out!!! Careful, and look out for nazi beavers. Another thing my great grand dad was so dumb during the Civil war he fought with the west. just kiddin

ah yeah, those damn nazi beavers, but what do you get when you get nazi beavers, and communist crocodiles? nothing silly, who ever heard of a beaverdile?

Yes they are hard to get rid of, when they come too close I stab at them with long pointy objects, U?

i sing s club 7 songs, they tend to turn green after five seconds and by six they have already connited suicide with whatever is at hand.

feb 11
 

1.When i was younger i had an imagenary friend named Mr Blibby. Me and Blibby did everything together. When i got my first bike Mr Blibby got a motorcycle. Mr Blibby showed me how to go real fast on my bike then i ran into a stop sign. To make me feel better Mr Blibby hit a squirrel, but then he blew up, but thats ok, hes Mr Blibby. When i caught a frog, Blibby caught an alligator. When i was teaching Toadie how to jump, Alli was teaching Blibby how to eat people, but there werent any people so Alli ate Blibby. Thats ok, Blibby was made of magical ice cream that would never melt and alligators are lactose intolerant so Blibby was out in a jiffy. Once when i got some fire crackers Blibby got a daisy cutter. It was real neat because when it rained, the crater in my back yard became a pond. Mr Blibby sure was smart! It took me four weeks to Blibby back together, but that was ok, he made me a purple sno-cone. Me and Blibby had lots of exciting adventures together...

Should i right any more Blibby stories? tell my yes or no lol


2.Out of all teh things you can be alleric too why couldnt i be allergic to school!?!?!

3.If someone is goofy enough to name a country Turkey why not have a neat capital like Biscuit or gravy. Might as well throw in a city called stuffing and a town called Cranberry

4.THere are some pretty strange religions out there and one of these days i will find mine, the anti algebra one. God bless the anti mathmatitions!

5.How the heck did the eggplant get its name, its not shaped like an egg, its not the same color as an egg, it doesnt smell like an egg, it tastes nasty, so what the heck is it?! I put my money on alien crap.

6.They say that rock is dead, but it never was alive...or was it?!

how do you come up with this stuff.:D

mr blibby is alright, he can stay

When dealing with girls always do the opposite of what they say, ex- when they tell you that they dont want anything for their birthday get them something anyway or else youll get it later.

This is becoming quite a site.

Mr. Blibby is cool.

Hope you have at least 5 Minutes on your hands lol...
 

Aye, so true 007 be prepared, this is a LONG post lol


1.One hot summer day me and Blibby went to go swim out at Lake Wright Patman. I was scared, there were monsters at that lake. Blibby just laughed and told me not to worry. We went, and right when Blibby stepped in the water, a three headed catfish ate him! I ran away screaming, tripped over a rock, and got a mouthful of sand. After playing in the sand for an hour or so Blibby came back, but smelled like something had died and rotted for a week. I didnt know what to do so we went swimming again. BLibby didnt know how to swim so i threw him at a buoy. Blibby made a really weird noise and i noticed that some turtles were creeping up on ol Blibby. BLibby started throwing chocolate chips at them but the turtles just ate them. Blibby gave up and and began swimming torward m, well trying, and the turtles at his legs. I threw some rocks at the turtles and they finally left Poor legless Blibby alone. I swam out and threw him into the sand. Blibby hated the lake now and wanted to go home so he made a car out of sand and started driving hoe, but i threw a rock and blew out his front tires. Blibby was mad, when we got home it was going to be war.....

Part 2

On the way home Blibby wouldnt stop hitting me in the head with chocolate chips so i threw him out of the car window. Blibby hit the pavement with a splat and I watched him as he ran back to the car. Just as the light gurned green Blibby jumped through the window back into the car. BLibby was laughing and we were friends again. Blibby said when we get home we can feed the dog weird things and launch the cat from the giant sling shot we made between to trees. One time me and Blibby set a trap and caught an armadillo. Blibby wanted to light it on fire and do an indian dance around it, but instead i got a bunch of old medicene and crunched it up and fed it to the armadillo. The armadillo started making funny pootie noises and running into trees. I started hitting it with a stick and it started making duck noises. Blibby started to finish eating what the armadillo hadnt and started running around in circles and saying stuff like "Hurry! THe Baloney needs deoderant!" and "ROses are red, Violets are not I hope you all SQUAT AND ROT!!" I started to hit Blibby too, and after awhile he was ok, even though he had eaten over 15 medicenes at one time... Good ol Blibby...

Theres more to come if you want it...