Light

[Sword 4 Hire]

Light

By: Sword 4 Hire

The Light is unpredictable
Giving off a storm of false hope to some
And a feast to a chosen few
A feast decorated in candles that provoke the shadows
The shadows that the tormented few inhabit
Watching...waiting for their time of redemption
Until their next chance to capture their own piece of light
In a glass bottle
A sliver of good fortune tucked tight within them
Their own feast of happiness nuzzled in their pocket
A feast of risk
And Light...

[happy_doughnut]

*sniff* That's so pretty S4H.
*sniff sniff* You're a very talented poet. I can't write poetry at all...
All I can do is stuff like:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm in a bad mood
So what's it to you?
:laugh:
*ahem* Anyway, very nice! it's great. I hope you post more cuz they're all really fun to read :)

[Beretta55]

nice post i like it.

[Lost_myth]

:ghost: I like it, though the ending confuses me a little. What risk? Maybe you could explain it more. Just a suggestion.

My favorite part is:

A feast decorated in candles that provoke the shadows
The shadows that the tormented few inhabit
Watching...waiting for their time of redemption
Until their next chance to capture their own piece of light

The way you describe it. It has good imagery. Good job.

[Sword 4 Hire]

Sorry Myth...here I'll explain it...the Light in my poem represents a new opportunity...something new and exciting popping up in your life, and if you go for this new opportunity, you may end up happier....or it could be misfortune....I used the word risk because new chances or opportunities aren't always good, but you gotta go for em anyways because in the end...you could end up happier...

The people who went for their own piece of light are now being rewarded somehow with their "feasts decorated in candle light"

The people who are kept closed in the shadows are people who never went for their new opportunity in fear of the worst

Moral of the poem...try new things, take chances, make risks in your life...you just may be rewarded in the end...

[Lost_myth]

I really liked that. Thanks for sharing

[Indrid Cold]

Not bad, Cool Poem!!!!

[007_JamesBond]

wow that was cool, I liked it alot, can not wait to read more

[Ruby Moon]

I agree with Myth, when she said you're very good at describing using verses.

[Black Heart]

I'm reading a lot of good poems at these forums!
I wish I could write like you guys! :(
Can I ask you, in this case to S4H, how do you choose to express yoursefl thru verses? Don't you think it would be much easier to write a story? It's a dumb question, but since I can't write poems, I'd like to know :right:

[Sword 4 Hire]

I don't know why I use verses...I always have...and as for your question about writing a story...I would...but I'm too lazy, poems are much easier lol

[Lost_myth]

Poems can be stories, they can be almost anything that the writer chooses. S4H, I'm sure rhymes and uses free verse. Just guessing about the last part.

[Sword 4 Hire]

Actually I rarely rhyme...I mean I think I can...but it takes too much thinkin...I like to write poetry as fast as I can...that's when the good stuff pours out onto the paper